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Holidays and Choose-Your-Own-Adventures

Oh my.

Quite a lot has happened since I last wrote to you, my friends.

Christmas and New Years were big events. I definitely had the Christmas blues — or whatever phenomenon hits some people during various holidays. I cannot tell you how often I've entered some unfortunate state of mind and lamented to myself: "Am I gonna be like this forever?! I'll never be happy again! Woe is me!" Etc.

And then the season ends, and I feel normal again, and I try to remind myself how many times I've gone through that drama.

Recent posts

Silence, Breasts, and Forgotten Lenses

Well now. It's a whole new season. I don't know if you can sense your own changes, but I feel like a new creature all over again. I don't know what I'm even doing here though. I should be in some quiet, secluded room; I should be writing for Seven Colors if not for Meadowvale — but I'm not gonna get into that now.

Have you gone to a library recently? It is striking to see how the only silent room is one corner shoved in the back. I lament the loss of silence. I think we're malnourished when it comes to silence.

Real Writing

Do you ever feel the need to stretch your legs? Do you ever just feel like you need to find more space? You need to go out and see scenery, walk on paths, and hear animals. Writing is like that for me — real writing anyway.

Small Splashes of Color

I cannot tell you how many seasons have been packed into this short season of my life. In under one year, I have experienced like five years worth of experiences.

I recently had a game night with some old friends. As I was driving to where we would be hanging out, it struck me vaguely but poignantly that I was a whole new creature. I'm not completely 100% different, but it's like Pokemon: Pikachu is quite different from Pichu, and Raichu is quite different from Pikachu. They're in the same evolutionary series, but — especially if you've played the games — they're quite different.

Now, imagine some series of like one-hundred changes, and it's been more than that.

I have a lot of the same, old habits. I don't look much different. My name is still the same and whatnot. However, it is both like thin veils have been peeled off, and new layers of paint have been brushed on.

I don't know if you've ever painted, but if you've done some kind of progressi…

Uncountably Merciful

I was thinking about my sin. Sometimes, I like to think it's powerful. I like to think it rears its head like a dragon, blasting fiery breath. Terrifying. Destructive. Unstoppable.

Sometimes, it really does feel as though it will obliterate me, crush me beyond recognition. Sometimes, I want to think that sin is the equal opposite of God's mercy and grace.

Shouldn't it be? The wages of sin is death. By my sin, I earn death: complete and eternal. If God is eternal and if the death I earn with my sin is eternal, are they not opposite but equal?

Things That Are

I cannot tell you how many times I clog my own brain with distractions and noises and tasks and diversions and more. I wanted to write a story, but I'm all clogged up in the business. Thus, I am here trying to drain el brain.

Plus, I haven't been reading much lately. I finished the novel I was reading, and I haven't snagged a new one yet. I kinda forgot about libraries. They totally exist, and they're totally full of books. What should I read though?

Misdiagnosing Words

Yo-ho-ho!

I had something intelligent to say earlier, but I forgot it. Oh! Right! I may be finding a place to live soon! I even made a cool map of all the things I do: students, church, a class I take, etc. It's color and symbol coded. It's kind of exciting!

It's sort of like a back-to-school project: going back to school isn't quite exactly fun, but it's fun to get a new binder, find cool folders, and purchase other organizational stuff.