Inside the Mind of a Nathan

As always, it has been far too long since I last wrote anything extracurricular. Despite the fact that I tell my students "a little bit every day," I write so infrequently. I think we're all familiar with the ubiquitous penchant for giving good advice but not taking it. Also! I haven't written a poem since April! I was glancing through my little database, and April was the last one. I feel like I've written something more recently, but it may have gotten lost in cyberspace.

I wrote this almost exactly two years ago and discovered it hiding in my Facebook notes. I sobbed this prayer to God one evening:

I know you've said it. We all have. "When am I ever gonna use the Pythagorean theorem?" "When am I ever gonna use trigonometry?" "When am I ever gonna use radical simplification?" I only mention math questions because most of my pedagogic energy is spent teaching math. However, "When am I ever gonna use that?" comes up in all arenas. My answer to that: you won't. With that attitude, there's no way.

I typically tutor high school math, but I often get students who want help with SATs or writing in general. I have a student that's aiming to earn the NROTC scholarship. I'll be meeting with him later this week to talk about it, but I wanted to give him something to do before we met. Below is the second e-mail I sent him. I thought it'd be worth sharing with you aspiring writers out there.

Jeremiah 29:11-13 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart." Lately, my heart has felt as though it is collapsing, shrinking, atrophying. Perhaps God is trying to make it easier for me to love him with all my heart: if I have nearly no heart left, it doesn't take much to seek with all of it.

in•tol•er•ant |inˈtälərənt| adjective not tolerant of others' views, beliefs, or behavior that differ from one's own

Colossians 1:21-23 And you, who once were alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds, he has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him, if indeed you continue in the faith, stable and steadfast, not shifting from the hope of the gospel that you heard, which has been proclaimed in all creation under heaven, and of which I, Paul, became a minister.

So I get this daily devotional thing. It's actually pretty good and often eerily relevant to my life. If you wish, you can  sign up here . Today, the author was talking about "Letting Go of Old Identities." Near the end of his devotional, he suggested the reader write three columns with five items each. I'm not sure how to make a table in Blogger, so I'll just do a listy thing.

I went to Starbucks to try to write again. I attempted poetry again, and it was crapful. Then I wrote this:

I tried to write. I went to Starbucks. I bought a venti iced chai. I feel like a maximum douche saying/writing that, but that's how to order that drink.

Dear Honey Smacks: There's no need to pretend. Your first three ingredients are not honey. Remember when you used to be called "Sugar Smacks"? That was a much more honest epithet. "Dextrose Smacks" would suit you sooner than "Honey Smacks."

Well I'm a poopy nugget. The last time I blogged was January 6th! Sometimes I excuse myself by saying I'm always writing – e-mails, notes, texts, etc. – but I'm not sure that quite counts. However! I must interject before you start thinking hoity-toity thoughts (or maybe I have to interject with my hoity-toity thoughts – whatever). I would wager that the literary quality of my e-mails and text messages exceeds that of the common man's essay.

I don't feel like writing. Who still reads anyway? I'm not even asking about people who read my blog. I'm asking who still reads at all? Are books going out of style? Am I going out of style? Books and I are probably going out of style.