Inside the Mind of a Nathan

Dangerous stuff, but truth is often dangerous. I'm ready. I'm ready for a new universe. What I mean by new universe  is really just the next dimension to this universe, this world. It used to feel like an endless, futile battle. Now, it feels like a bloody, flowing battle. On short notice, it's not much better—probably worse. Deep down, however, it's blood and not pus. It's bleeding injuries, not festering diseases. Especially because of how we're saved, I've always esteemed blood and bleeding.

Well, shoot me in the leg and call me wobbly! Such progress has been made! And even just this past week! Even just today! I'm not even sure how I would summarize if I could, but it's been a productive, satisfying process.

It has been way too long since my last comic! I don't even remember when I made the last one; I don't want to. In any case, here is my most recent, inspired by trying to get my life together: Mature Content On that topic, however, I have been extremely productive these past few weeks, especially these past few days. My website is almost complete, I've been writing a lot more (for my book of course but also other areas), I recently helped host an art project at a school, and a bunch of other things.

I learned something magically profound today! I cannot tell the full extent of the matter, for it would make some people angsty. However, I can tell just enough. Basically, the realization I had was that so much of my energy used to be locked up inside my expectations for or frustrations with other people. I used to think that things should be a certain way or at least that things should make sense.

So many things to do, and I'm excited. These past few years—past few months even—I've gained a lot of focus. I've shed so much fear. I've also gained a lot of impatience. Impatience might not be the perfect word. Indignance might be right. It's probably a combo of impatient, frustrated, indignant, focused, relentless, excited, determined, and so many more. There has been such a vivid shedding of some old shroud. Shroud 1 was shed about 1.5 years ago. Shroud 2 was shed maybe a month or so ago. One was gaining a freedom I thought I'd never have. Two was realizing that naysayers don't know anything.

1604 words! That's a great count. I think I've been more focused lately anyway, but I also tried listening to very ambient music to muffle the Starbucks noises around me. I'm not sure if it's just how I feel, but it seems like Starbucks is an inappropriate place for conference calls or other such business calls. If you have to provide a quick bit of information, cool; do your thing. If you're coordinating schedules and relaying updates, just bloody step outside. There's something magically different about voices talking to voices and voices talking to phones. One sounds like a voice; one makes me feel like Chirrratka.

First things first: I got a new personal email address. ZadokNauthiz@gmail.com served well, but it started to feel juvenile. This was striking, however: As I was transferring everything from ZadokNauthiz to my new email address, I noticed so many transitions taking place in my life. It was like I was shedding an old identity and stepping into something deeper, something truer.

I've had the last line for a long time, anticipating some special mantra. Today, I wrote it. It may undergo some changes for the final draft, but it's already epic:

The Renaissance Faire! It had been so long since I last went to the Ren Faire. It was such a lovely time. It was primarily lovely because of the friends who joined, but the Faire itself holds so much charm.

It's a fine day. I have an inexplicable headache though. I think I slept with my neck at a funny angle. It's a bit distracting, and I think it's making me think too hard. I almost tried not to ramble in my rambling blog. I think I've been overthinking it these past few entries, but I must go back and remember why I called it rambling in the first place. I just saw a man wearing the strangest kind of shoes.