Inside the Mind of a Nathan

I have already completed a bunch of tasks today. One of my students will be starting up again soon. I have so much support from family and friends. I have a God who is strong to save. My car is still rolling. I have a future. My projects are forming, growing, progressing. I am being inspired to write, and I am inspiring others to write. Our circumstances are not the foundation of our joy, but — just as joy can be felt in dire times — joy can be felt in luxurious times as well.

It's an insane world I tell you. Insane! Really, I'm just insane, but it's hard to get outside of your brain. At least, it is for me. In any case, writing! Wut wut! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 new people I have met who aspired to write but have shied away from it for one reason or another. It drives me half mad to hear how many amazing writers are hiding away from the calling.

I'm not sure if listening to metal would improve my writing or not. I'm listening to it now as I journal. I feel like it could improve my writing because it's energizing, almost safe. However, I think it might put me in a certain mood — a good mood but a specific, limited mood. I can't have all my chapters contain a hint of warfare in the background. It's tough to say, but I'm going to stick with ocean sounds.

Time. We often have funny perceptions of time, especially when it comes to the concept of eternity. Time is like a painting. Technically, one stroke is painted before another. At the end, however, no part of the painting IS   before any other. It's important to remember because I often get lost in one form or one color. Though the end product by no means devalues individual shapes, it makes no sense to get stuck on any one.

I'm feeling uncommonly normal. I broke down this morning and joined a gym. They're always talking about how physical activity will make you feel better and whatnot. Unfortunately, it did. I only did the elliptical thing for like half an hour, but, near the end of that half hour, I was sad that I had to leave.

As it turns out, I often distract myself. In this world of endless notifications and pings and bleeps and dings, there are too many opportunities to relinquish focus. Therefore, I'm experimenting with a thing: I have decided to embody my distraction. This idea was inspired by a friend who was advising me as I lamented about the distractions that blare inside my mind.

My goodness! I get myself worked up. There are voices in my head sure enough, but I definitely amplify them with my own mutterings. Do you know what I dream? I dream of silence: a real library or maybe even a monastery. Do you think monasteries let just anybody in? I need it.

Well, poop on a scoop. I don't have many minutes, but my brain was feeling crazy, and I needed to get words out. I think, sometimes, we don't take magic very seriously. Obviously, you could give it names like physiology, psychology, physics and whatnot, but, at the end of the day, it's magic.

I haven't been very productive today. Granted, I distracted myself with a lot of trivial things. However, it's also hard to concentrate in a lightly refrigerated room. I am now sitting on the side porch, and I love staring out into our thin woods. It doesn't matter the setting in whatever I'm writing; outside is always better.

Freakin' awesome! My little brother gave me all the good input for stuff and things, and Michael the Traveler is going to be awesome now! I mean, I like to think he's already awesome, but I'm looking forward to giving him visuals and sound effects.

Ho-ly mo-ly. I haven't written in like forever! I have been writing, but not enough writing. Never enough writing. I did manage a total of 4500 words this past Tuesday and Wednesday; that was pretty satisfying. And, by gum, a friend has been greatly encouraging in that regard!