Confused but Cathartic
My goodness!
I get myself worked up. There are voices in my head sure enough, but I definitely amplify them with my own mutterings. Do you know what I dream? I dream of silence: a real library or maybe even a monastery. Do you think monasteries let just anybody in? I need it.
In any case, I have realized that most of us have voices in our heads: an employer, a parent, a lover, a friend, an enemy. So many voices clamoring for our attention. I have discovered ocean sounds, and they have been a great comfort to me many a day. I think I also need better headphones. My current ones are comfortable and multi-functioning, but they let in too much external sound. Oi.
Some day, I also have to start illustrating. But I really have to write first. But I don't really feel like it right now. But I really do. It's a strange vise to be caught in between a desire and its opposite.
Where is my brain? Do you ever feel like your brain is missing? In whole or in part? It feels like subtle parts of my brain are missing.
I have mostly forgotten how to diagram sentences. It's a wonderful skill—if you want to understand what you're saying. I can still track the connections between each word in a sentence, but I used to know the full-fledged structure.
I don't know why I say "full-fledged"; I haven't earned the right to use that term. I don't know much about fledging or any such stuff. However, people say irregardless, and I feel that I am excused.
For a moment, I almost felt fluid, but then I got distracted. I don't know why my focus feels so flimsy today. I don't know why I feel so tired today. I slept pretty normally. Who knows?
Well, it is nearly noon, and I can't excuse avoiding Meadowvale any longer.
I get myself worked up. There are voices in my head sure enough, but I definitely amplify them with my own mutterings. Do you know what I dream? I dream of silence: a real library or maybe even a monastery. Do you think monasteries let just anybody in? I need it.
In any case, I have realized that most of us have voices in our heads: an employer, a parent, a lover, a friend, an enemy. So many voices clamoring for our attention. I have discovered ocean sounds, and they have been a great comfort to me many a day. I think I also need better headphones. My current ones are comfortable and multi-functioning, but they let in too much external sound. Oi.
Some day, I also have to start illustrating. But I really have to write first. But I don't really feel like it right now. But I really do. It's a strange vise to be caught in between a desire and its opposite.
Where is my brain? Do you ever feel like your brain is missing? In whole or in part? It feels like subtle parts of my brain are missing.
I have mostly forgotten how to diagram sentences. It's a wonderful skill—if you want to understand what you're saying. I can still track the connections between each word in a sentence, but I used to know the full-fledged structure.
I don't know why I say "full-fledged"; I haven't earned the right to use that term. I don't know much about fledging or any such stuff. However, people say irregardless, and I feel that I am excused.
For a moment, I almost felt fluid, but then I got distracted. I don't know why my focus feels so flimsy today. I don't know why I feel so tired today. I slept pretty normally. Who knows?
Well, it is nearly noon, and I can't excuse avoiding Meadowvale any longer.
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