Do or Do Tomorrow

It's a fine day. I have an inexplicable headache though. I think I slept with my neck at a funny angle. It's a bit distracting, and I think it's making me think too hard. I almost tried not to ramble in my rambling blog. I think I've been overthinking it these past few entries, but I must go back and remember why I called it rambling in the first place.

I just saw a man wearing the strangest kind of shoes.

I'm really not sure what the designer had in mind. It's like some strange hybrid of velcro, slipper, and rain-boot maybe.

I'm also not sure how to describe the owner of these shoes, but I didn't get a good look at him.

I think it's fascinating how we struggle to be independent. It's also fascinating how often that scramble after independence slides one down the chute of homogeneity. Think about "Christian" music, and you will have a prevalent, primary example. Think about teenager outfits, and you've probably found second place.

In any case, funny shoes.

As I was saying, it's a fine day. The temperature is mild. The sky is bright, but the sun is softened by clouds. 'Tis a Saturday preceding Labor Day Monday, and I'm going to the Ren Faire, AND I have a costume! It's a pretty good deal.

I'm debating with myself. Decisions are such finicky things—especially when both (or multiple or all) options are sensible. I could probably get so much extracurricular work done. (I should have gone to the gym. There's always tomorrow.)

I respect Yoda to a large extent, but, in my life fraught with failures, "do or do not" really doesn't cut it. If I excluded the option of "try," I would have done so much less. An old mantra of mine is "not today." I used to think it was just my excuse to avoid things. As life continues to roll on, I realize that it's not procrastination. I am choosing no today; I will choose yes another day.

While I'm rambling, I'll continue on the path of daily things: I have plenty of addictions, but I am not an alcoholic. I do, however, have a few alcoholic friends. One of them, anonymously referred to as Pepe, shared with me the 12 steps. I forget the exact wording, but one of the paragraphs talked about quitting making bold promises like "I won't drink ever again" or "I won't drink for a year." The book talked about saying "I won't drink today" or "I won't drink this hour," turning healthy choices into smaller, more manageable segments.

Similarly, I suppose, I have come to realize that "do or do not" disempowers the small victories. I imagine it could sound like "drink or do not drink; lust or do not lust; fail or do not fail." Perhaps I'm not perceiving it correctly, but "do or do not" doesn't seem to leave room for "repent and be forgiven; learn and try again; grow and be sanctified."

Maybe tomorrow.

For now, I have at least two other things I want to write.