Remember to Be Healed
Have you ever messed up something?
I have.
Did you ever use a lot of time and energy getting yourself into the mess in the first place?
I do that a lot.
Do you ever tell yourself not to fix it because it's probably going to happen again anyway, and it would be a waste of time and energy to get yourself back into the mess?
I don't want to tell you how many times I thought it would be wiser just to leave my mistakes so that I didn't have to make them again.
I think I have gained one gem of wisdom however: in cleaning up my same crap over and over again, I find one more cranny that I missed (or should have cleaned up last time).
At the same time, I see this weird danger: sometimes, when I return to my vomit, I devote myself even more so than the previous folly.
I'll cling to the deeper clean though. Despite how many times I pinball back and forth, I think the trajectory tests my heart. My heart is a dumb one to be sure, but it seeks God. It seeks God like a dumb child who has gotten himself stuck in a tree.
Have you ever helped a child into a tree? Almost invariably, they can't get out again. Sometimes, children get themselves into trees — but still can't get back down. That's how I feel: I've put so much energy into getting somewhere I thought I wanted to go. Then when I'm stuck, I cry and whine and panic. Thankfully, He helps me down again, but I wonder how many times I'm going to climb the same bad choices before I realize I just shouldn't go there.
By God's grace, the deep cleanse builds. His mercy allows me to find one more facet of my folly that angers me. His mercy renews me when I think cleaning up my mess isn't worth it.
I promise you that I've screwed up more than 490 times. How many times must you forgive a man? Seventy times seven they say. Thankfully, the number itself is not the issue. The symbolism is. 7 is the number of completion. Peter was like, "Should a man forgive his brother completely?" Jesus said, "A man should give his brother all the way 100% fully completely forever."
That is Christ's forgiveness: all the way 100% fully completely forever. Thus, I am in luck!
Still. Still, at the end of the day — though God's mercy prevails over all — I'm still injuring myself, and I hate it. How do you stop injuring yourself?
In Max Lucado's book "You Are Special," the main character Punchinello (a wooden puppet of sorts) feels that he has flaws. The society in which he lives obsesses over giving praises or criticisms in the form of golden stars or grey spots.
Long story short, Punchinello goes to Eli, the carpenter who made him. Punchinello says that he's flawed and he wants his spots removed. Eli doesn't take off his spots but says he should just keep coming back to visit.
As he leaves from his first visit, without him even noticing, one spot falls off.
Obviously, there's more to the Christian life than that, but I think we do look at our stars and spots too often and forget to go to the carpenter — regardless of how we look.
I have been forgetting; I'll tell you that much.
How do you remember?
I have.
Did you ever use a lot of time and energy getting yourself into the mess in the first place?
I do that a lot.
Do you ever tell yourself not to fix it because it's probably going to happen again anyway, and it would be a waste of time and energy to get yourself back into the mess?
I don't want to tell you how many times I thought it would be wiser just to leave my mistakes so that I didn't have to make them again.
I think I have gained one gem of wisdom however: in cleaning up my same crap over and over again, I find one more cranny that I missed (or should have cleaned up last time).
At the same time, I see this weird danger: sometimes, when I return to my vomit, I devote myself even more so than the previous folly.
I'll cling to the deeper clean though. Despite how many times I pinball back and forth, I think the trajectory tests my heart. My heart is a dumb one to be sure, but it seeks God. It seeks God like a dumb child who has gotten himself stuck in a tree.
Have you ever helped a child into a tree? Almost invariably, they can't get out again. Sometimes, children get themselves into trees — but still can't get back down. That's how I feel: I've put so much energy into getting somewhere I thought I wanted to go. Then when I'm stuck, I cry and whine and panic. Thankfully, He helps me down again, but I wonder how many times I'm going to climb the same bad choices before I realize I just shouldn't go there.
By God's grace, the deep cleanse builds. His mercy allows me to find one more facet of my folly that angers me. His mercy renews me when I think cleaning up my mess isn't worth it.
I promise you that I've screwed up more than 490 times. How many times must you forgive a man? Seventy times seven they say. Thankfully, the number itself is not the issue. The symbolism is. 7 is the number of completion. Peter was like, "Should a man forgive his brother completely?" Jesus said, "A man should give his brother all the way 100% fully completely forever."
That is Christ's forgiveness: all the way 100% fully completely forever. Thus, I am in luck!
Still. Still, at the end of the day — though God's mercy prevails over all — I'm still injuring myself, and I hate it. How do you stop injuring yourself?
In Max Lucado's book "You Are Special," the main character Punchinello (a wooden puppet of sorts) feels that he has flaws. The society in which he lives obsesses over giving praises or criticisms in the form of golden stars or grey spots.
Long story short, Punchinello goes to Eli, the carpenter who made him. Punchinello says that he's flawed and he wants his spots removed. Eli doesn't take off his spots but says he should just keep coming back to visit.
As he leaves from his first visit, without him even noticing, one spot falls off.
Obviously, there's more to the Christian life than that, but I think we do look at our stars and spots too often and forget to go to the carpenter — regardless of how we look.
I have been forgetting; I'll tell you that much.
How do you remember?
“How do you remember?” What a beautiful question! The only answers that come to my mind are the simple ones that you already know, no magic rituals to perform to keep me coming back to the Carpenter. In fact, the ultimate answer is really more about what the Lord does than what I do.
ReplyDeleteThe first simple answer is that I form a HABIT of going to the Carpenter. That way, my visits start automatically. Of course, the Carpenter doesn’t want empty ritual; He wants my heart. So prayer and Bible reading done out of duty and without love are wholly insufficient. But habit can be a helpful prompt. For me, the first thing in the morning is prime time with the Carpenter.
The second simple answer is to go together with others to visit the Carpenter. I LOVE the story you referenced, and in it, Punchinello is brought to Eli by his friend, Lucia. We need each other in order to remain faithful to the Lord, in order to obey. Hebrews 10:24-25 puts it like this: “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” It is always a red flag when people drop out of church without seeking a new one. We need it all: corporate worship in church services, group Bible studies, prayer & accountability groups, and informal friendships that consistently point us to the source of life: Christ.
I know you know these things. And yet, somehow even though I know these things as well, too often I forget. Call it temporary spiritual insanity, if you will. So often it starts with busyness. I think, “I’ll pray later. I’ll just take care of this first.” And the day slips away…two days…three. But how can it be anything other than insanity for me to think that I can continue to live a fully charged life without plugging into my power source?! Jesus wasn’t kidding when he used the metaphor of Him being the true vine and us being the branches. We will die if we don’t abide in Him. John 15:9-11 says, “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.”
(Part 2)
ReplyDeleteWhen I get out of the habit, or when my heart’s not in it when I do go to visit the Carpenter, it’s often the troubles of this life that bring me back. A couple of years ago, I went through such dramatic trouble that I would never wish on my worst enemy! And yet, there was also something sweet about that time: prayer was like breathing. I couldn’t imagine skipping time with the Lord because He was my lifeline and I knew it! He still is, but I really felt that truth more back then.
Sometimes we feel truths more than others. Sometimes the Enemy’s lies even feel like truths…like when you felt like you should just leave your mistakes so that you don’t have to make them again…you know that voice wasn’t the Carpenter’s. How did you know it? Well, that brings us to the ultimate answer of how we remember: He won’t let His children forget. He places His Holy Spirit in His children’s hearts as a seal. That’s why your heart seeks God and keeps ping-ponging back to Him. That’s why you couldn’t permanently believe the Enemy’s lies. I take such great comfort in Philippians 1:6: “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” The Holy Spirit is working on you (and me, and all His children), and He will not give up! The words of the old hymn, “Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing” resonate so deeply with me because He IS the answer to the question “How do you remember?” No, it’s not a how-to manual, but He Himself is the ultimate answer:
“Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, prone to leave the God I love.
Here’s my heart, O, take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above.”
May you feel His seal on your heart. May you abide in His love, keep His commandments, and may your joy be full.
Holy shamboozle!
DeleteYou should totally post that on your blog! Do you have a public blog yet?
I appreciate your thoughtful responses. I appreciate your reliance on Scripture. I appreciate your simple aim toward Christ.
Thank you.
"Holy shamboozle!" -- hahaha!! To quote The Princess Bride, "I do not think that word means what you think it means." https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=shamboozle
DeleteI assure you, I am not trying to mislead you, sir! :-)
I didn't think my comments were particularly blogworthy...by strict word count, perhaps (haha!!), but not by content. There was nothing particularly insightful or novel in my comments, but I wanted to attempt a response to your beautiful question! But simple I am, and it is my pleasure to be a friend whose aim it is to consistently point you to Christ. Thank you for being the same.