What can we do?

I pity the people who are addicted to trying to control others. I'm sorry your life feels out of control. I'm sorry you feel powerless. You are an adult, and you are responsible for your choices; you will be held accountable for the evil you purvey. Nevertheless, I am sorry for the pain that led you there, and I pray for you.

I really dream of a day when I can treat adults like adults.

Dudeman, I thought I was sensitive! But when you push back at some of these "adults," they rear up like cornered, feral animals: hackles up, fangs bared, life or death in their eyes!

Typically when I get hurt, I get grumpy and quiet and I take naps. Sometimes, I drink alcohol. Sometimes, I play video games. Sometimes, I go for a walk. Sometimes, I pray. Sometimes, I go do my job and get over it.

I got my issues; I'm not sayin' I don't — but, DUDEMAN, it's amazing how devoted some goobers are to being posterior-holes.

I guess I want to ask the so-called adults why. Why do you reach out your claws to grasp at anything you can? Why do you hurt the ones you love? For years? For decades? For lifetimes?

I mean, I have my theories, but I'm trying to listen. I'm trying to understand. What's hurting you so much that you can't escape your own inner turmoil? Many of you claim Christ. We are works in progress, and our full healing has not been wrought yet, but you think it'd show up gradually, ya know?

How do you last? How do you persist? How do you remain so devoted to crushing the spirits of those around you? It's gotta be freakin' exhausting. It seems more exhausting than just doing the diligent work of repenting and reconciling.

What makes it so hard for you to hear? Sure, you've been alive longer, but look around you: there are people older than you who know less. Can you not imagine that — maybe just perhaps — you also are lacking in a few areas?

I'm not saying you don't know anything. I'm just saying we all have blind spots. One of my big blind spots is being considerate of others. I'm really good at it when I choose and focus and pay attention — but it doesn't come naturally, and I blunder a lot.

What are some of your blind spots? Could listening be one of your blind spots? Could humility be one? What about kindness? What about fairness? What about plain, old-fashioned reason?

I am no forerunner in formal logic, but I've done a lot of math and some symbolic logic, and it is both appalling and fascinating how extremely irrational we can be at times. Is reason one of your blind spots?

I guess a lot of it comes back to humility: Are we humble enough to say, "Oh shoot, yeah, I got a few blind spots"?

I see how tired you are. You're so tired! I'm sorry.

I know it would be exhausting to rework your communication style, but I passionately believe it would pay off tremendously in the long run.

I think we want the same thing: to love and be loved. We get off track sometimes — I know — but, as a wise man once said,

You better check yourself before you wreck yourself.

Again, why? Does it hurt too much? I will go ahead and guess that staying on your current path will hurt those around you more than changing would hurt you.

What do you need? I've tried! We've tried.

Einstein is credited with saying,

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results.

We're starting to feel insane, which is why we've been changing, resisting, and even defying.

Aren't you starting to feel insane? Don't you think it's time to try something different?

What got you stuck in this rut? How can we help? I'm gonna jump right in here and say, no: submitting to your irrational need for control is not the answer — for you or for us.

But I believe there is a solution — a hard solution but a healthy solution.

How can we help? It seems you've been frustrated by all of our crazy reactions. We're just trying to find a way to respond to your unwavering onslaught — and nothing seems to work — so we keep changing.

Again, no: we won't let you crush us. We won't let you obliterate us. We won't let you assimilate our will into yours. But we are willing to work with you. We want to talk and forgive. We want to hear and compromise. We want to accommodate and love. We want to make sacrifices — but we will not let you sacrifice us to your idols.

So what can we do? There has to be a better solution than just ignoring you. After all the claw-marks you've left in our hearts, it's about the only solution we have left — but we keep holding out. We keep hoping.

There has to be a better solution than leaving you alone to thrash in your corner of fear.

And — holy shit — you have not made conversations easy! Crying is childish. Retorting is disrespectful. Choosing a different path is foolish. Agreeing to disagree is not tolerated. Talking through our confusion angers you.

The only option you gave us is agreeing with you, but, again, we are made in the image of God too, so assimilating is not an option.

What can we do? If the only option is assimilating, then — I'm sorry to say — you've lost us. You've lost your children and nieces and nephews and young members of your church.

I invite you — even beg you — to think with me, pray with me. What can we do?

I know there can be reconciliation. God casts His mercy and grace to the highest heights and deepest depths. Will you work with us? It's never too late.

What can we do?