A Fine Random in June

My friends, it has been too long since I've written a purely proper randomizer of a blog post.

As it turns out, I'm tempted like every other writer to think that I have to sound spiffy. One of the greatest sources of writer's block is the addiction to sounding good.

I've heard tell of various kinds of performers who created some kind of blockbuster: whether a song, book, piece of art, etc. I've heard tell that they never created again.

The reports have gone on to say that they felt inadequate compared to themselves. They felt like they couldn't create another masterpiece — so they wouldn't create at all.

Do you like water? I have this theory that most of my medical health is sustained by how much water I drink. True enough, I pee all the time, but I think I have poor health habits while still having reasonable health. Crazy stuff.

I also like iced tea. I like flavors. Sometimes, I just want a liquid flavor. Maybe I have diabetes!

I wonder how we came to calling people sweet — like sweetheart etc. It kinda makes sense. It kinda doesn't.

Holy heckin handbags I haven't written enough! My poor books! Lingering in obscurity!

If I met myself and heard myself talk about my books whose writing was stalled, I'd get quite uppity. "You've just got to write!" I'd say. "Any little bit! Every day! Just a snippet! Even if it's trash!"

Well, screw you, Nathan. I don't want your advice. I want to avoid my books and let them be glorious fictions. LOL

"Fictions."

Did anybody catch that joke?

Books of fiction remaining mere fictions?

Never mind.

And then I found five dollars.

I gotta research things! Research is a weird thingy because I don't know how to price that. With tutoring, I sit and work until the time is up. With research, I feel so bad about just reading articles and brainstorming. How do I clock my time?! Bleh.

In other news, I might consult! It's weird stuff. My impulse is to laugh at myself and brush by the joke. However, I've been absorbing the reality that we're all a bunch of doofuses just putzing around, sometimes pretending we know what we're doing — sometimes not pretending.

Therefore, I may be a putzing doofus who also consults! "The Putzing Doofus": it has a pub sort of ring to it.

The Brewing Fury! That's another dream I have! Each time I've tried to say it, however, I've struggled with its pronunciation. I tried just now and spouted, "Byuring Fury." It can be a working title I suppose until we've found a better one.

Heckin toadstools, I wish I could communicate analogies with some kind of mind meld.

I think of Captain Jack Sparrow when Anamaria is angry at him for stealing her boat.

Jack Sparrow: You'll get another one!
Anamaria: I will.
Will Turner: A better one!
Jack Sparrow: A better one!

A Rwandan bishop once said that when God takes something away, He has something better in mind. The bishop mentioned some losses in his life and how he went to God with the attitude of "I'm getting a better one!"

When I am able to wait with faith, I vividly see better things happening to me, better things even falling into my lap. Magical!

Life is magical by the way. One of my favorite definitions of magic is "science we don't understand yet" — and one of my favorite definitions of science is "magic we understand." Boom.

HUMANS ARE EXHAUSTING BY THE WAY

Not all of them. Just some of them. But still.

Do you know what's really exhausting? Having to get up in the morning! Like who does that? Whose fault is that? "Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise." Whoever said that doesn't even speak English! Whatevs to that guy.

Early to rise and late to bed makes a man glad and rad but dead.

LOL

I almost never laugh out loud when I write "lol."

Also, phone calls?! I know. I know. People like their phone calls — but I'm a blustery bloke who's often preoccupied if not full-fledged busy.

In other other news, I'm running out of random.

Really, I'm running out of my interest in my own random.

So, uh, peace out!