Burning Books and Other Academic Pursuits
Well, poop on a scoop: things cost money! Car repairs, man: sheesh.
In other news, I recently burned a book. I was trying to read The Name of the Rose; really I was. I think I had been trudging through that novel for over a year. I started to fear my love of reading had dried up or at least grown weary; I really couldn't understand why a single book would take me so long. Then, one chilly day, the 10th of March, I decided to set a lot of things on fire—including a tree and that book. Since then (in under three weeks), I have read four books and am well into a fifth!
I want to say it's a surprising phenomenon, but I have done this multiple times: usually, someone recommends a book, and I begin it. It takes forever, but I stick to it for the sake of the recommender. I start to feel that I no longer like reading, and I start to fear I'll be a dusty, old, bookless screen-monger. Then, I toss (or burn) the book to discover that it was just a dry story and that my love of books is glowing even brighter after being so stifled.
Speaking of stifled, I feel stifled. I'm not sure what it is. It is definitely not the grim stifling from years past, but it's definitely no fun. I was sick most of last week, so that didn't help. Then, my car was sick, so I was stuck at home for a time. Sticky, sticky stuff. I am out today, and I already feel much better. I contacted a slew of schools to recommend myself as a tutor. I was really surprised to hear from one school that "we no longer have a tutoring list that we are permitted to distribute to families." Things are getting weirder and weirder. Months ago, I was very surprised to hear from almost every single library I visited that they can only post non-profit fliers.
It's strange. Nevertheless, onward and upward: there will always be other avenues.
I'm really glad I escaped my old job. This adventure requires a large, new set of responsibilities, and I'm not exactly the most responsible bloke. Standardized tests were soul-crushing though. Soul-crushing! But in my new freedom, my focus has increased like a dynamo. And don't get me wrong: my old job was, in and of itself, a lovely place. I just wasn't crafted for that soul-crushing, brain-stifling, future-fettering kind of work.
I've had a few parents approach me about test-prep for their kids. The conversations have been strange. Obviously, I want money, and, obviously, I'll help their kids develop life-long skills, but the parents sound so panicky sometimes, like test-prep is their child's last lifeline, like all the anxieties they've suffered about their child's future will finally be assuaged if they can pay for a good enough score.
I'm working with a young lady on ACTs. Really plainly bluntly, we hardly get to work on any practical thing. We spend our time flitting from question to question, discussing how to identify the right answers but never really accomplishing anything. There's not really a chance to accomplish real learning. There's not a chance to ask weighty questions. There's not a chance to develop character. There's not a chance to improve organizational skills. There's not a chance to practice study skills. It's just an empty scramble after empty concepts.
Sometimes. Sometimes, it's hard to recall that life isn't static. Sometimes, the grey phlegm seems to fill every nook. Sometimes, it seems denser than any diamond and impossible to move. Sometimes, I can recall that life wasn't always this way, nor shall it remain always this way. Sometimes, I am impatient.
In other news, I recently burned a book. I was trying to read The Name of the Rose; really I was. I think I had been trudging through that novel for over a year. I started to fear my love of reading had dried up or at least grown weary; I really couldn't understand why a single book would take me so long. Then, one chilly day, the 10th of March, I decided to set a lot of things on fire—including a tree and that book. Since then (in under three weeks), I have read four books and am well into a fifth!
I want to say it's a surprising phenomenon, but I have done this multiple times: usually, someone recommends a book, and I begin it. It takes forever, but I stick to it for the sake of the recommender. I start to feel that I no longer like reading, and I start to fear I'll be a dusty, old, bookless screen-monger. Then, I toss (or burn) the book to discover that it was just a dry story and that my love of books is glowing even brighter after being so stifled.
Speaking of stifled, I feel stifled. I'm not sure what it is. It is definitely not the grim stifling from years past, but it's definitely no fun. I was sick most of last week, so that didn't help. Then, my car was sick, so I was stuck at home for a time. Sticky, sticky stuff. I am out today, and I already feel much better. I contacted a slew of schools to recommend myself as a tutor. I was really surprised to hear from one school that "we no longer have a tutoring list that we are permitted to distribute to families." Things are getting weirder and weirder. Months ago, I was very surprised to hear from almost every single library I visited that they can only post non-profit fliers.
It's strange. Nevertheless, onward and upward: there will always be other avenues.
I'm really glad I escaped my old job. This adventure requires a large, new set of responsibilities, and I'm not exactly the most responsible bloke. Standardized tests were soul-crushing though. Soul-crushing! But in my new freedom, my focus has increased like a dynamo. And don't get me wrong: my old job was, in and of itself, a lovely place. I just wasn't crafted for that soul-crushing, brain-stifling, future-fettering kind of work.
I've had a few parents approach me about test-prep for their kids. The conversations have been strange. Obviously, I want money, and, obviously, I'll help their kids develop life-long skills, but the parents sound so panicky sometimes, like test-prep is their child's last lifeline, like all the anxieties they've suffered about their child's future will finally be assuaged if they can pay for a good enough score.
I'm working with a young lady on ACTs. Really plainly bluntly, we hardly get to work on any practical thing. We spend our time flitting from question to question, discussing how to identify the right answers but never really accomplishing anything. There's not really a chance to accomplish real learning. There's not a chance to ask weighty questions. There's not a chance to develop character. There's not a chance to improve organizational skills. There's not a chance to practice study skills. It's just an empty scramble after empty concepts.
Sometimes. Sometimes, it's hard to recall that life isn't static. Sometimes, the grey phlegm seems to fill every nook. Sometimes, it seems denser than any diamond and impossible to move. Sometimes, I can recall that life wasn't always this way, nor shall it remain always this way. Sometimes, I am impatient.
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