Growing Pains Etc.
Oi!
Man alive.
The world is still so tremendous, and I feel like this little doofus. Sometimes, I feel like a really cool little doofus — but a doofus nonetheless.
In other news, creative writing was a blast! I had six wonderful students! And they were all so engaging! Like! What! That's the dream.
Well, I got a many one billions dreams — and that's one of them: to fill the world with amazing literature!
It's been kinda funny to hear people wonder how a body could even teach creative writing. I haven't tried it yet, but I so want to ask, "Well, how would you teach calculus?"
I know. I know; it's not the same — but the question is almost moot. How I'd teach it is what happened in my class: badda-bing, badda-boom.
In other other news, through Google+, I get these random likes on my "Michael the Traveler" videos. It's just like 5 or 6, and I'm not sure who the likers are, but it's encouraging I guess? It's a weird world of media, marketing, etc. It's weird world, and I often have no idea what I'm doing!
I'm learning how to be ok with that though. I'm learning how to embrace the unknowns — even embrace the bad feelings! — and move forward in prayer and faith.
Bad feelings, man: they feel bad. I had this magical/miserable realization: bad feelings happen. The miserable part is that I can't magically dispel them. The magical part is that misery happens on this planet — and God redeems it.
That's the magic: God redeems it. He doesn't poof the bad feelings away; He makes them meaningful.
I'll tell you what: I kinda hate it so far — but it's also a kind of delicious. It's like pain after exercising: it hurts, but you know you're growing.
Slowly, bad feelings aren't these damned terrors; they're just the miserable downswings in a life full of seasons.
Speaking of seasons, I want a season for napping. Just napping. Like all day for a month. Short breaks for food and bathing — then back to napping. That's another dream: naps, all the naps.
Speaking of seasons, I'm not a fan of freezing temperatures in March. I'm moving to the warmth. We'll see what God has in store for me, but that's my prayer.
In other^3 news, DRAWING. I started drawing in my painting class to practice shading and forms and such, AND IT'S FREAKIN HARD. It's a bloody skill! That requires effort! I enjoy the challenge, and I'm not gonna give up, but it's so draining. I have to overcome it. I have to.
What else? What else? I still need a nap.
What else?
I gotta tell ya: I'm tired of fears. Who needs 'em? So exhausting. I'm gonna fight everybody. That would be way less exhausting. Nobody ever wants to fight me though. I'd probably lose anyway, but it'd be memorable.
Holy snap! I'm moving this weekend! New adventures! New unknowns! How many new ways will I lose my mind?! All of them!
I need more bacon in my life.
I'm learning. It always feel too slow, but I am beginning to see it impact my life in positive ways. Either that, or I'm just wonky oblivious.
The latter is totally possible — at least sometimes.
I always knew, but it was still surprising to acknowledge it: most peanut butters are laden with sugar. I'm torn: I love the peanut butter, but they all warn you about sugar. I'm probably already a low-level diabetic or summat.
I stopped chewing my fingernails.
I've stopped a few other things too.
I stopped sleeping well for example.
That one wasn't on purpose though.
I'm a crazy boy. How do I live with myself?
One day at a time I suppose.
So many dreams, and they do indeed keep me awake at night. Strangely enough, I've snagged a few of them. I wish I could tell you all my dreams! If only just to relieve the pressure inside my heart and brain — but I think they would inspire you.
This is not to say that my dreams are any dreamier than anyone else's dreams; I just think inspiration inspires others. That's been my experience — both on the giving and receiving end. Excitement is often contagious.
Some day, I'll have a desk. The desk. My very own desk. I don't care how big or small it is, but I need it. Honestly, the main priority is just being able to sit at it comfortably. Most desks I've experienced can't fit my legs underneath; don't even talk about trying to cross your legs. Fitting underneath would be a luxurious start.
The dreams are bursting forth, and I am bursting.
Man alive.
The world is still so tremendous, and I feel like this little doofus. Sometimes, I feel like a really cool little doofus — but a doofus nonetheless.
In other news, creative writing was a blast! I had six wonderful students! And they were all so engaging! Like! What! That's the dream.
Well, I got a many one billions dreams — and that's one of them: to fill the world with amazing literature!
It's been kinda funny to hear people wonder how a body could even teach creative writing. I haven't tried it yet, but I so want to ask, "Well, how would you teach calculus?"
I know. I know; it's not the same — but the question is almost moot. How I'd teach it is what happened in my class: badda-bing, badda-boom.
In other other news, through Google+, I get these random likes on my "Michael the Traveler" videos. It's just like 5 or 6, and I'm not sure who the likers are, but it's encouraging I guess? It's a weird world of media, marketing, etc. It's weird world, and I often have no idea what I'm doing!
I'm learning how to be ok with that though. I'm learning how to embrace the unknowns — even embrace the bad feelings! — and move forward in prayer and faith.
Bad feelings, man: they feel bad. I had this magical/miserable realization: bad feelings happen. The miserable part is that I can't magically dispel them. The magical part is that misery happens on this planet — and God redeems it.
That's the magic: God redeems it. He doesn't poof the bad feelings away; He makes them meaningful.
I'll tell you what: I kinda hate it so far — but it's also a kind of delicious. It's like pain after exercising: it hurts, but you know you're growing.
Slowly, bad feelings aren't these damned terrors; they're just the miserable downswings in a life full of seasons.
Speaking of seasons, I want a season for napping. Just napping. Like all day for a month. Short breaks for food and bathing — then back to napping. That's another dream: naps, all the naps.
Speaking of seasons, I'm not a fan of freezing temperatures in March. I'm moving to the warmth. We'll see what God has in store for me, but that's my prayer.
In other^3 news, DRAWING. I started drawing in my painting class to practice shading and forms and such, AND IT'S FREAKIN HARD. It's a bloody skill! That requires effort! I enjoy the challenge, and I'm not gonna give up, but it's so draining. I have to overcome it. I have to.
What else? What else? I still need a nap.
What else?
I gotta tell ya: I'm tired of fears. Who needs 'em? So exhausting. I'm gonna fight everybody. That would be way less exhausting. Nobody ever wants to fight me though. I'd probably lose anyway, but it'd be memorable.
Holy snap! I'm moving this weekend! New adventures! New unknowns! How many new ways will I lose my mind?! All of them!
I need more bacon in my life.
I'm learning. It always feel too slow, but I am beginning to see it impact my life in positive ways. Either that, or I'm just wonky oblivious.
The latter is totally possible — at least sometimes.
I always knew, but it was still surprising to acknowledge it: most peanut butters are laden with sugar. I'm torn: I love the peanut butter, but they all warn you about sugar. I'm probably already a low-level diabetic or summat.
I stopped chewing my fingernails.
I've stopped a few other things too.
I stopped sleeping well for example.
That one wasn't on purpose though.
I'm a crazy boy. How do I live with myself?
One day at a time I suppose.
So many dreams, and they do indeed keep me awake at night. Strangely enough, I've snagged a few of them. I wish I could tell you all my dreams! If only just to relieve the pressure inside my heart and brain — but I think they would inspire you.
This is not to say that my dreams are any dreamier than anyone else's dreams; I just think inspiration inspires others. That's been my experience — both on the giving and receiving end. Excitement is often contagious.
Some day, I'll have a desk. The desk. My very own desk. I don't care how big or small it is, but I need it. Honestly, the main priority is just being able to sit at it comfortably. Most desks I've experienced can't fit my legs underneath; don't even talk about trying to cross your legs. Fitting underneath would be a luxurious start.
The dreams are bursting forth, and I am bursting.
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