True Colors

I began a new painting today.

I'm not sure how I feel about it yet, but it is only a first draft, so it wouldn't make sense to like it just yet. I do like the swirling split between the blue and the yellow, but the red strands seem a little frail. We'll see what happens next week.

In other news, conversations are nice: just normal, simple conversations about normal, simple things. I'm not sure how to distinguish. I think small talk is the talk people use when they don't want to talk. In contrast, however, there is simple talk that people use when having pleasant conversations.

For the longest time, I thought I only ever wanted intense conversations because people were always telling me I only ever wanted intense conversations because I can rarely stomach small talk. Today, I vividly realized that small talk is very distinct from non-intense talking. I'll have to make a chart. I love charts. !!! I just envisioned a venn diagram! It might even make sense! Hold on! I have to go jot down thoughts before they slip away!

...

Ok, I'm back.

You really should write more. It's much less of a chore than you think and dramatically more important than you think.

It's less of a chore because, really, you just have to put thoughts into words—any thoughts into any words: on paper, in a blog, on a napkin, on scrap paper, in one of those beautiful journal things, in emails to yourself, in emails to someone else, as notes in the margin of some book, and so many other options. The medium doesn't matter, and the content doesn't really matter either. You don't have to share it. It's not as daunting as you fear.

Also, it's a very important exercise. At the very least, it just helps you process things. So often, people "think out loud"—which is all fine and dandy—but thinking silently is a great skill worth developing, and writing allows for that quite effectively: the words become external so that you can see them, but you don't need to say them out loud.

I almost said "thinking is a lost art," but, really, thinking is just lost. I see why math is so ostracized though. Putting logical steps in order is just too much work. Some day, in the not-too-distant future, I can imagine school curriculum being boiled down to two classes: Taking Offense and How to Feel Better About Yourself. Or The Pennsylvania University of Safe Space. Or Harvard School of Puffery.

The more people I meet who have PhDs (not each individual but the aggregate), the more of a joke it seems. It reminds me every so vividly of a turtle on a post.

Same story with many PhDs: nobody can really articulate how they got there, and none of their skills prove they should be there.

I know it'll probably take a few more decades, but I'm really looking forward to the collapse that reveals all the true colors. We Americans are getting pretty bold about our depravity, but the transition has been subtle enough to conceal it for a little while longer. Even once we reach the pinnacle, there will still be pervasive denial. Those who deny will be just as deceptive as ever, but those who sought truth but were confused will be shaken out of their apathy. It'll be a glorious wreckage.

Not today unfortunately. Not today.